I'm glad my son lost.

This is our first year taking part in Cub Scouts. This is our first year building a derby car and partaking in a pinewood derby. I think it goes without saying that none of us knew what to expect. I did expect a bunch of cars made by young boys. I didn't expect incredible race cars, obviously not created by young boys, instead by dear dads living through their young boys! So...we lost. We lost every race.  Kaileb looked so disappointed the entire time after watching his car lose so badly. He tried to put on a happy face and clap for the winners, but I knew he was upset. Naturally I wanted to coddle him, hold his hand, and say "It's fine son, they all cheated!" I felt really bad for Kaileb and even gave Nick a side-ward glance of "I can't believe you didn't try harder!" Not one of my proudest wife (or mom) moments.

After the derby race I was feeling pretty terrible for making Nick feel even the slightest bit bad about not having the most perfect car ever made. It was in that moment that I realized my son losing was a gift. Of course we all want our kids to win and feel proud. We should all want our kids to lose too.

It's more important for my child to know how to work hard to make something happen, then have someone else do the work and be called a winner. It's critical for him to understand that he is going to fail in life. He needs to know how to lose. He needs to know humility from a young age. I can teach my son many things, but the world is the best place for him to learn that being prideful can be an Achilles weakness. I do think you should take pride in your choices, but if they don't work out you should have the humility to say you were wrong and learn from your mistakes. How can he learn that if he doesn't lose? How can I teach my child to grow up in a life where jobs are few and far between, if he thinks he will succeed at every single thing he does?

Losing is an essential life experience. Losing makes you a winner.